I have been playing around with Microsoft Designer lately. Below is an image I got it to create of myself… I’m not sure that my face is quite that round but I like it!

I also used Microsoft Designer to create an image promoting a webinar that I did with the Mental Health and Wellbeing Special Interest Group (SIG). I probably should have written about this webinar BEFORE it happened – oopsy! Anyway the promotional email included this image:

The webinar went really well and we have 40 people there which felt like a lot at the time. It was promoted through NAEEA – so you know, a national organization and it is a great thing to have on my resume. The same team had a presentation at the STARS Conference although sadly I couldn’t attend myself.

I AM going to Darwin in December for the NAEEA national conference… and here’s THAT image/website: https://agentur.eventsair.com/naeeaconference2024/

So I have 6 abstracts going in for that conference. That is one for the Self-Efficacy SIG that I facilitate as they have asked each SIG to have a poster promoting the SIG. Then there is two research projects, one for the Self-efficacy SIG and one for the Mental Health and Wellbeing SIG that I am part of. We intend to also submit articles to the special issue of the Journal of University Teaching and Learning Practice that is associated with the conference. So that’s two projects, two conference presentations and possibly two articles to go with them.

The next abstract I’ve submitted is again one that they requested because I received a small grant from NAEEA in 2022. I have not actually finished collecting data for that one yet, but I have 8 completed interviews so that was enough to know broadly what findings I am going to present at the conference.

The final two abstracts I have submitted to the conference are related to my PhD. I figured I have done a pilot study with 3 students, I can present those findings as a case study. The second one is a shorter presentation about the trauma that they shared with me, how important self-care and self-reflection is when doing qualitative work and I’ll touch on the ethical considerations as well. Sadly my supervisors were unable to assist in any way with the conceptualization, writing, proofreading or editing of those abstracts as I am still officially on leave from study. I did send the first 250 word abstract to them but, as I mentioned, they were unable to look at them. As they had not contributed I removed both supervisors as authors. I had previously listed them because naturally they have supported me in the process leading up to collecting data from the 3 students I am presenting about. And you know, they’ve been a part of everything PhD related so I figured authorship was appropriate.

The personal problems I have been dealing with are still there, but like most emotional things they are dying down as time goes on. I’ve been talking to friends and colleagues about it all and that has helped a lot too. I am still feeling anxious, like physically anxious when I think about going back to full time PhD study in October. When I reflect on that I realize it’s because I only have so much energy – generally speaking – but I’m most worried about emotional energy at the moment. More worried about the emotional energy than I would have been in the past. And the truth is that I believe my PhD takes more emotional energy than anything else.

That is not because I am not motivated. It’s not that I procrastinate. It’s because I spend a lot of energy on managing my supervisor relationships. By now I should probably know what to expect from them but that doesn’t really help when I think about how much energy I spend on it. At this point I know I still have a couple of months to decide. I WANT to go back to full time study so that I can continue to receive the stipend payments but I know that is probably not what’s best for my emotional energy or my mental health. It is a decision that I am putting off.