It has been 10 days since my confirmation of candidature. I feel more positive overall about it now. That is mostly because of the meeting I had with my supervisors where we were both able to acknowledge that time management leading up to confirmation wasn’t the best.

They also presented me some very logical arguments around where to from here type thing. We are going to start with inserting the theoretical framework stuff on Social Cognitive Theory (SCT) that the panel requested. I know in my head I only ever use SCT as a way to introduce self-efficacy and I always think of self-efficacy as “the framework” but now I see I need to do much more around SCT as well. So I have been reading up on SCT, so far, remember this is 10 days… I have read the equivalent of one thing (around 3 bits). I have NOT done enough. But I have been fighting a lack of motivation and also the urge to catch up on all the other things I have been neglecting because of confirmation. I probably rely too much on the fact that I do almost everything faster than most of the people around me.

So I have read a couple of bits and pieces, I have written 2 small paragraphs of notes and requested THE 1986 text by Bandura to be delivered to my front door from the library. It’s not nothing, it’s not enough. I have however made a bit of progress in other areas, on other projects.

I had 2 things to do for the Tim Fish team, and I’ve done one of those. I’ve written a grant proposal for a small grant from NAEEA and lined up the next one as well. I’ve done my marking and all other student-related things in the STEPS program and I’ve started to catch up the hours I need to in the Academic Learning Centre (ALC). I have not got many student appointments so I have to find 10 hours per week worth of assignments to give feedback on. There are plenty submitted but staying motivated to do that many is hard. I would much rather 10 student appointments.

Last weekend and this weekend I did some ALC assignments to try and catch up as I was 23 hours behind – that is 23 assignments. Now I’m 21 behind but I have already done 5 out of 10 hours for this week. So I will have done my 10 by Wednesday morning and then I have Thursday to do some of those 21 hours. It’s week 7, so I will have to keep doing at least 5 over the weekend for the rest of term to catch up I think. It’s rather depressing when I think about it like that.

I’ve also done 1 out of 9 abstract reviews for the NAEEA conference which I stuck up my hand to do a while ago. I’m not regretting that, it’s great experience, but the timing is not the best. There are a lot of other bits and pieces I have spent my time on in the last 10 days but probably nothing worth noting here. I guess I just wanted to say I have not been slack, but I have not been focused and that is not the best!